I was unexpectedly surprised last Thursday night when my husband
(who from now on will be referred to by the name of "Smoke" in reference to his Hero, Nascar driver Tony Stewart who calls himself Smoke) told me he had the weekend off. The whole weekend meaning - Friday, Saturday and Sunday. This has not happened in at least a year if not longer so the girls and I were very happy. I took the kids to Hamilton pool during the day on Friday until the overgrown teenage boys ruined it for us. Then I came home to get ready for my first date night with my husband in a very long time.
Smoke sits down on the chair when he came in for errands and this is the first time I have seen him that day. I need you to visualize what he looked like. He is a larger man with broad shoulders, about 6'2 with his shoes on, he shaves his head, has a goatee that is beginning to look like a foo man chu (spelling?) he has on green camoflauge shorts, white socks, black Nike's and a black T-Shirt with a giant bright green Incredible Hulk on the front.
He looks at me and asks, "should I shower?"
Me: Did you shower last night?
Smoke: No
Me: Well then, yes, please shower, you do remember we are going on a date?
Smoke: Yes
So he proceeds to shower while I beautify myself. He gets out of the shower and what does he do? He puts back on the same clothes he had on before. He sits on the side of the bed and begins to put his black shoes (over white socks remember) and sees me looking at him. He asks, "What?" I say, "Are you really going to wear that on our date?"
Smoke: Yes, what is wrong with what I am wearing?
Me: Really, are you serious - you are wearing an Incredible Hulk T-Shirt on our date.....?
Smoke: Yes, I think it looks good. I can be your very own Incredible Hulk....(this is when he proceeds to bow out his arms, flex his muscles and growl like the Hulk).
I just laugh and roll my eyes. I have long since given up trying to dress my husband. He is a very good looking man and when he gets dressed up, he looks mighty fine, but I don't get to see him dressed nicely very often. Oh well, at least I got my very own Incredible Hulk for the night.
So we go to see Indiana Jones. I had already seen the movie, but my husband had not and he really wanted to see it. I wanted to see a scary movie, but since it was his Birthday a few days before, I let him pick without much of a squabble. So we sit down for the movie which is entertaining, but I guess I was tired because during this one part I actually fell asleep. I woke up to Smoke elbowing me in my side, looking at me with this very disgusted look on his face. I ask, "what, was I snoring?" and he says (agian with the disgusted look) yeah! I could tell he was just like, "oh, my goodness, my wife is snoring in the movie theater..what a LOSER"
You see I am always making fun of my mom for doing the same thing. She can't stay awake in a movie or watching TV for more than 5 minutes at a time and I suddenly had this overwhelming fear that I am beginning to turn in to my mother. Please Oh Please Oh Please NO NO NO! I will forever and from now on drink lots of caffiene at the movies.
We then went to dinner at PF Changs (one of my favorite places) and we got to see the aging half naked woman with breasts hanging out the side of her dress the entire dinnner. It was nice. Smoke was like, "you know, there is a certain time when that is just no longer attractive." I say, give my man a Klondike bar!
It was nice to be out with my Hulk - dressed nice or not, it was wonderful to hold hands, laugh and talk since we don't get much of a chance to do any of those things these days.
At the end of the date, Smoke looks deep into my eyes and says, "don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. I think it is time for some gamma radiation baby.....!